This past year has been the craziest year in my life. Though I feel wounded at times in a battle of the soul, I find that I have also learned a lot over the last year. I turn 31 this coming March, so I have compiled a list of life lessons (most of which I have learned over the past year and hope to have 31 by my birthday). Maybe it will help someone else or maybe it’s just my own ramblings on paper.
1. Don’t make someone a priority when you will never be their priority. They don’t deserve that much from you.
2. Don’t live your life regretting the things you should have done or not done, the things you should have said or not said. It’s okay to have regrets, but don’t live by them. Change what you can or move on. It does no one any good for you to regret the things you cannot change.
3. Addictions are the hardest things to overcome, but they can with a great support system, willpower and the right motivation.
4. Motivation has to come from within. If you are doing whatever you’re doing because you’re getting motivation from an outside source, you will not stay motivated. It’s great to have support and people to cheer you on, but you have to do the things you do for the right reasons and that comes from only you.
5. Happiness is something you decide. We don’t have to be happy with everything, but when we choose to be happy despite our circumstances, that’s when real change can come.
6. Fake it ‘til you make it. It’s okay to pretend to be confident when you’re actually scared out of your mind. It’s okay to pretend to be happy when you’re not. Faking it can rub off and make it true.
7. Sometimes it’s best to just settle for a slow down. When you slow down and aren’t in such a hurry to get to here or there or to get this or that done, it’s a lot easier to see the joy in the everyday. Settle for a slow down every now and then and joy will come back even when you feel like it’s all gone.
8. Random acts of kindness renew the soul. Do something kind for someone you don’t know, even if it’s something as simple as letting them go in front of you in line, giving them a dime when they’re ten cents short at the vending machine to get what they really want, or ask that lady you see with tears in her eyes if she’s okay. Even if they don’t accept, you’ll feel better both inside and out.
9. Absolutely nothing is better left unsaid. Unless it’s negative. There is so much negative in the world right now, if you have something good to say, say it. Even if you don’t think the person or circumstances warrant it. And, really, if you love someone in any way, you really should just tell them.
10. Failure only truly comes when you stop trying. As long as you are still trying, success can still come.
11. The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. Hating someone means they still hold the power over your emotions.
12. Hurt comes from someone else failing to meet your expectations. Some people say if you don’t want to get hurt, lower your expectations of other people. But I say, why? Keep them high and maybe they’ll surprise you. I’m okay with being hurt every now and then because I’m gonna learn and grow from it.
13. It’s okay to hold a grudge. There are just some people that you want in your life (because either they are good for you OR you are good for them), but you cannot fully trust them. It’s okay to hold a grudge. You know what you can say to them and trust them with and what you can’t.
14. Some people are just gonna stir the pot. No matter what you do, there are some people who have not learned the world doesn’t revolve around them. And they’ll stir the pot until everyone around them has to focus on them. That’s okay, but let it be their drama.
15. Sometimes it’s just best to say your peace and move on. It doesn’t make you a bad person to just say “This isn’t working for me.”
16. Don’t let your past dictate your future. We all have a history full of both good and bad, but they don’t designate where we go in the future.
17. Take the time to open your eyes to the world around you. What is there just might change your life if you take the time to realize what you have when you have it, what you can get when you want it, and what you need when you need it.
18. It can always get worse. I don’t care if you believe you are at the bottom of the deepest pit. Believe it or not, you can always go lower. But when you feel you are at YOUR bottom, it’s time to scratch, dig, crawl, jump, scream, and pull yourself out of the bottom. Knowing that there is always a worse to the situation can better able you to want to move in the right direction because you really don’t want the worst of the worse to happen!
19. Sometimes you just gotta cry it out. We have tears and emotions for a reason and sometimes the only thing to do is have a good cry and get it out of the way. Once you let your emotions settle, then it’s easier to figure out what needs to be done.
20. Everything is better in the end. If it’s not better, then it’s not the end. Really believe in this one. Think about even searching feverously for something. You never find it until you look in the last place. You stop looking for it because you found it. And everything’s better because your search is over and you’ve found what you are looking for. That makes the perfect ending.
21. Love can be blind. It can also be def, dumb, and stupid. But even in the worst of circumstances, it is much better to love than to hate or be indifferent. So love, even if it makes you feel stupid.
22. Everything happens for a reason. We may never fully know the reason but there is one. We don’t always have to try to find the reason, years down the road it could come to us in the simplest way. Just know there is a reason for the negative stuff too. And usually it’s so we learn from it.
23. You cannot change anyone but yourself. You can be supportive, encouraging, and inspirational, but you cannot make anyone change. They have to want to do it for themselves.
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