My truth about running

I hate running. There is probably nothing that I like less than running (well, maybe washing dishes). I really thought that once I got into my training miles that I would really start to enjoy running. I just don't. I struggle to get up in the morning to put in all my training miles because I hate running that much. I've even had days where I hope to trip, fall, and break my leg just so I don't HAVE to run anymore.

I have to run. I've committed to the 1/2 marathon on 10/10/10. It's not that I don't want to become physically healthy; it's just running is not going to be the way for me. I thought I would learn to enjoy it. Afterall, I enjoyed my first 5K that I did in February. And the one in May. But that's the competitor in me. Even though I knew that I suck at running, I was competing with myself and that still makes it a competition to me and it makes me give it my best. There is no competition in the training miles and it's getting harder and harder to get up and do them.

Yesterday's "run" was the worst. No motivation. Cramps. Sore foot. Horribly hot weather. And then to top it off in the back of my mind I kepting thinking of the words someone from the SHMC posted on my page and I questioned more than ever why I was out at 7 am, with cramps, a sore foot, in the hottest humid weather to run when I hate running!

Those words were simply this: ‎

"Pretending I'm something I'm not because I'm worried of what people will think of me just makes me miserable."

I am NOT a runner, so why the hell am I pretending to be? Why am I doing all of this when running makes me miserable? Why would I keep getting up on very little sleep to do something I don't enjoy? Yes, I feel accomplished after running because I completed my miles or I sweat out 5 gallons of water weight, but mostly I feel accomplished because it's DONE! And I don't have to do anymore running that day! Then I go back to dreading the next day's miles that night before I go to bed.

Honestly, running makes me more miserable than not having confidence in my body or being overweight. After the 1/2 marathon it will be time to find a new avenue for me to achieve my fitness and physical goals. Until the 1/2, I will slave away doing something I hate because I've committed to it and I ain't no quitter!

Anyway, now you know my truth about running. So when you see me not motivated with getting up early in the morning and running, you truly know why! I hate it, but I'm doing it anyway.

Still (even though sometimes I'm not sure why) loving MY life,
Kat