When I was little girl, I dreamed of going to college and getting out of the tiny town I lived in. I worked hard throughout high school to get scholarships to college. I worked hard through college to get my degree. I didn't know my life would turn upside down in a moment and I would be back living not just in that tiny town, but that tiny 2-bedroom house of my parents along with 5 other people, my daughter included. But here I am...
Without all those things I thought I would have by the time I turned 30 a month ago! I'm divorcing. I'm jobless. I live with my parents. The only property I have are two suitcases of clothes, a car, and a room full of my daughter's toys. Oh, I have a cell phone. Even the computer I'm using isn't mine. I have no privacy, no space, and no time to be sitting around bitching about the things I don't have.
What I do have is the most fabulous group of women supporting me along my journey. These women include my sister and best friends that I've known forever. But they also include an enormous group of women, most of whom I've never even met. I didn't know that this group would be changing my life simply by forcing me to look at my life differently.
So, this is my journey. My journey to find me again. I'm working on the physical me through running. I will complete my 2nd 5K on May 1st. I will complete my first half marathon on October 10th. My official stop smoking day is May 13th! I'm working on the mental me through reworking my brain to be positive and to stop being self-loathing and angry. I'm figuring out how to change this woman who loves too much and always hopes that man or this friend will change to be what I need. I'm working on the spiritual me through reading and reflection. I believe God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I have a hard time finding the handle!
I hope that you will come along with me on my journey. I'll tell more about myself as I post where I'm at in my journey. I'm working hard on myself for me and my beautiful 4 year old daughter. I'm not there yet...but I will be!
Without all those things I thought I would have by the time I turned 30 a month ago! I'm divorcing. I'm jobless. I live with my parents. The only property I have are two suitcases of clothes, a car, and a room full of my daughter's toys. Oh, I have a cell phone. Even the computer I'm using isn't mine. I have no privacy, no space, and no time to be sitting around bitching about the things I don't have.
What I do have is the most fabulous group of women supporting me along my journey. These women include my sister and best friends that I've known forever. But they also include an enormous group of women, most of whom I've never even met. I didn't know that this group would be changing my life simply by forcing me to look at my life differently.
So, this is my journey. My journey to find me again. I'm working on the physical me through running. I will complete my 2nd 5K on May 1st. I will complete my first half marathon on October 10th. My official stop smoking day is May 13th! I'm working on the mental me through reworking my brain to be positive and to stop being self-loathing and angry. I'm figuring out how to change this woman who loves too much and always hopes that man or this friend will change to be what I need. I'm working on the spiritual me through reading and reflection. I believe God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I have a hard time finding the handle!
I hope that you will come along with me on my journey. I'll tell more about myself as I post where I'm at in my journey. I'm working hard on myself for me and my beautiful 4 year old daughter. I'm not there yet...but I will be!
Kathy, I'm so glad you've started this. I have chills right now reading what you are going though. Six years ago that was me - living in my brother's spare bedroom with my sweet little 5 year old Chloe after finally being able to get out of a bad marriage. Good things are around the corner for you sweetie! I just know it!
ReplyDeleteAdriAnn, thanks for sharing that because sometimes it feels like no one knows or understands how hard this is at times!
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